Friday, October 5, 2012

Baby you were born this way

This is so hard for me.  And it shouldn't be.  I wanted to discuss and write about being a gifted parent teaching gifted kids.  I keep stopping on that post.  Hopefully after this one I'll feel better and more able to continue.  But for now...I need to talk about something.

See what kept stopping me was that I felt a little ashamed.  Knowing I'd share that post, hoping others would, I felt...like I was being a braggart?  Maybe like I was being immodest or obnoxious?  I don't know why.  I'm gifted.  My kids are gifted.  I know there are parents out there that would love to 'make' that situation happen.  I know that there are a lot of people that would consider it a 'privilege' or ideal...they need to read Jen Merrill's book.

Because I will tell you, it's not about being 'smarter', knowing more, or being better.  It's just about how you learn, and no one should feel bad about how they learn.  Now, I can't place the blame solely on those outside the gifted community.  I have many, many, many facebook pages/communities that pop up on my feed daily.  I have multiple forum emails that come in my email.  I mostly read and move on because others have more expertise or because I have an opinion I know to be unappreciated (ie do not give your 2 or 3 year old curriculum, even gifted kids learn through play, play with them).  I see, from SOME, a pretty nasty attitude.  I have to emphasize the some because most people I know personally-the one's I've made friends with and a ton besides those-are absolutely not like this.  But in some of the posts I see this elitist attitude and I know others have picked up on it and thought "well gifted people are jerks!"

Quoting Lady Gaga-aw yeah.  Those shoes are awful.
Like the Ugly Americans giving the rest of us bad names in foreign countries by being loud and obnoxious...but regardless of others actions I shouldn't feel embarrassed to be an American and I shouldn't be embarrassed to be Gifted.  I'm pretty good about being forth-right about the kids and their abilities and what gifted has meant for them.  But when it comes to myself?  I was mortified!  I won't name names but I found two communities that made me click 'leave group' immediately because the discussions were 'How to handle people who aren't as good as we are' and 'I can't believe what this neurotypical did!'  Please know I belong to so many more where those posts would be flamed, trashed, and handed back to be thought about and considered in scathing fashion.  But I can only imagine what people who feed into that show to others about what it is to be gifted.

It's not something I ever planned on running around screaming "I'm GIFFFTTTEEEDDDD" but I shouldn't feel 'icky' talking about what it's like to parent and teach gifted kids as a gifted adult.  No one should feel bad discussing the various issues that come with being a gifted adult.  If you aren't all 'I'm giftedddd you arenn'tttt' there's nothing to feel bad about.  I am me, I was a gifted kid and you don't grow out of it.  That means there are things you have to adjust for, deal with, live with as an adult. I should and will bring it up when it's relevant. I should not feel bad about bringing it up, I will be working on not feeling embarrassed or like I'm bragging when I talk about or write about those issues.

It doesn't make me more awesome, more important, or more interesting, all of that comes from just me being me ;)

4 comments:

  1. Sadly, I'm starting to think if parents do not feel any angst or pain over having a gifted child, they likely have instead a high-achieving child. :(

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  2. If I wanted an easy life I'd pray for a high-achiever. Hands down. And many gifted kids BECOME or START OUT as high achievers-this middle patch...
    sigh.

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  3. I like a the distinction Jim Delisle makes in Parenting Gifted Kids, about being better at, not better than.

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  4. Hahaha, this is one of two Lady Gaga songs that my son and I know, thanks to Kids Bop or whatever it is called and Puss 'n Boots. We sing "Born This Way" and Katy Perry's "Firework" to let our freak flags fly! And I agree with Jen.

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